Learning the hard way.

You know, for the most part i love learning. Why? because it stimulates ur brain and keeps u from losing brain cells. It prevents alzheimer's. Learning enables you to acquire new skills and learn how to use them in ways that benefit yourself and others. It helps you to get in touch with what you do best and what you absolutely suck at.

However, I just learned something today. What did I learn? I learned that I hate learning the hard way. Why? Because it hurts. It freakin hurts. It sucks. It sucks so much that it is the epitome of suckish.

Why? Learning the hard way hurts because you make mistakes that can usually (most of the time!) easily be avoided if u just listen to others or think twice before you act. Learning the hard way hurts because more often than not, you make mistakes that have consequences that affect how you feel for the rest of your life. Those consequences scar you and make you miserable. Learning the hard way hurts because you make mistakes that you regret and wish you go back and do over. These mistakes affect your social life nine times out of ten. These mistakes usually screw others over and these mistakes usually screw you over most of the time. Learning the hard way also hurts because you make mistakes that make you want to KICK yourself repeatedly and mentally curse yourself out because they create mistakes that you regret and irreversible consequences that you have to live with day in and day out.

I have come to realize these things because lately, I have been learning a lot of lessons the hard way. i have made choices i really regret. I have made mistakes that have screwed others over and screwed myself over.

I say this because i lost a really close relationship with a friend of mine in june because of how i acted. I was a negative, pessimistic ***** that would not listen to anyone. She tried to help me, but all I did was push her away. All i did was act like a know-it-all, which did nothing but alienate her from me. She won't answer my phone calls. She never responds to me on facebook anymore, because she blocked me on there.

Because of how I acted, i lost a close relationship that really mattered to me. I lost a friend that has known me forever. She's seen me grow up. She knows me better than i know her, which is really sad because I'll never be able to fix that and get to know her better. Because of this, i will miss having her in my life because she was ALWAYS there for me when i needed a friend or needed someone to lean on.

Because of this, i will have to live with missing her like crazy for the rest of my life. I will have to live with not ever being able to make it right.

However, you can bet that i will not make this mistake again. Why? Because i am done with learning the hard way. I am done with making mistakes that can easily be avoided just by thinking twice before you act and by listening to those that have ur best interest at heart. I am done with screwing myself over. I am done with having a messed up social life. I am done with making choices and mistakes i regret. I am finished with being miserable. I am sick of scarring myself and making choices that have irreversible negative consequences that I have to live with day in and day out.